“Garfield” cartoonist Jim Davis maintains, “We’re all motivated by the same urges. Cats have the courage to live by them.”
Whether sleeping in the sunshine, destroying velvet couches or sh**ting in people’s shoes, cats can certainly teach us to obey nothing beyond our urges.
While cats have been ambivalent about humans since the dawn of time, we have revered and reviled them for at least 12,000 years, and most recently brought them unforetold shame with the 2019 theatrical release of “Cats.” For this, we are truly sorry.
Ancient Egyptians regarded cats as the embodiment of the goddess Bastet, and killing a cat was an offense punishable by death. Ancient Greeks associated cats with the goddess Hecate and Romans thought of felines as a symbol of liberty.
During the buzz kill that was the Middle Ages and most likely because of their respected position in pre-Christian religions, cats became associated with witchcraft and devil worship which led to the once exalted animals being killed en masse.
Cats, as per usual, had the last laugh as their extermination at the hands of religious zealots is thought to have directly affected the proliferation of the Black Plague as less cats meant more rats.
Now it seems cats have been at least partially restored to their hallowed post as deities. With that in mind we’re matching cat breeds to the zodiac signs they are most compatible with. Read on to learn more.
ARIES (March 21 – April 19)
The very first Savannah cat, a hybrid between an African serval and a Siamese cat, was born on April 7, 1986, making the OG of the breed an Aries. Assertive and prone to jumping impulsively to dangerous heights, this breed, like the cardinal fire sign it aligns with, is overactive and expresses affection through headbutting.
TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)
Russian Blue cat
According to lore, The Russian Blue is descendent from cats kept by Russian Czars. Likewise, the lethargy, self-righteousness and expensive tastes of the average Taurus suggest a link to the aristocracy. The Russian blue is described by Hill’s Pet as, “both observant and persistent, always ensuring that her needs are met. She doesn’t adapt well to change, such as varying meal times or unknown visitors.” Similarly, Taureans favor stability and need to know explicitly when their next feeding will occur and would prefer to interact with three people or less on any given day.
GEMINI (May 21 – June 20)
Inexhaustible, curious and vocal, the Bengal will find easy kinship with the infinite energy of Gemini. Highly intelligent, these cats are keen to play games with or on their owners. Adept at opening doors, stealing hearts and generally outsmarting their humans. Indeed the only kind of superiority that appeals to the Gemini is the intellectual variety and in the cunning Bengal, they meet their match
CANCER (June 21 – July 22)
Most Cancers suffer from persistent emotional sunburn and the skin of the Sphynx is similarly sensitive. The Cat Fanciers Association maintains, “Sphynx are truly a rare treasure and should be kept indoors, neutered or spayed and provided with loving and interactive surroundings to maintain a healthy, long and enjoyable life.” Unlike many other cat breeds, the Sphynx is not opposed to a bath, the natural habitat of the melancholic Cancer. The excessive wrinkling in their foreheads gives them a worried/anxiously attached look familiar to any Cancer who has ever loved anything.
LEO (July 23 – August 22)
An impressively large and social cat, the Maine Coon will find the right human in a bigger the better, more the merrier Leo. Entertaining, albeit intrusive and gluttonous when it comes to affection, Maine Coons have much in common with the lion pride. Leos by and large tend towards memorable hair and generous spirits, similarly, Maine Coons have magnificent tails that equal their body length and can be wrapped around them for warmth. Just as the Maine Coon requires constant grooming, Leos require daily petting and affirmations of their worth.
VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)
Virgos take responsibility seriously, a gravitas expressed in the legend of the Siamese cat. For generations, Siamese cats exhibited crossed eyes and crooked tails. A folk tale explained that a troupe of Siamese cats was ordered to guard a golden goblet for a king. The cats performed their duties with such diligence that their eyes crossed from staring at the goblet and they wrapped their tails around the chalice for extra protection so tightly they became permanently bent. Taking a sacred duty to a self-destructive degree? Big time Virgo vibes.
LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)
Libra is the sign of partnership and natives can easily fall into codependency, Abyssinians who routinely “shadow” their owners are happy to indulge in this dynamic. Like their Libra counterparts, Abyssinians, sometimes known as “tabby Abys” look beautiful, require a considerable amount of reassurance and affection and are prone to depression when left without people to impress.
SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21)
French Chartreux cat
The shorthair French Chartreux has been admired since antiquity for its unrivaled hunting prowess. Scorpios similalry enjoy stalking their prey and making others feel inferior. Scorpio is the strategic survivalist of the zodiac and qualities of the Chartreux breed include keen intelligence and preternatural adaptability, qualities that sustained them in the wild for centuries. Scorpios are suckers for a goth tinged poem, and Joachim du Bellay penned a real feline feels factory with his 1558 ode to his dead Chartreux, Vers Français sur la mort d’un petit chat (on a small kitten’s death). The poem argues that the cat ought to be immortal, a cause close to the dark Plutonian heart of all Scorpios.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21)
Norwegian Forest cat
Sagittarius is the seeker of the zodiac, swashbuckling and always down for a sojourn or a harrowing tale of adventure. True to form, the Norwegian Forest cat is descended from felines of yore that sailed the seas on Viking war ships. On that same travel tip, the Norse goddess Freya was an avowed cat lover and she’s oft depicted riding a chariot being pulled by a pair of Norwegian Forest cats. This breed is naturally waterproof, managing to keep themselves dry in even the most perilous wetness. Similarly, the relentless optimism of the average Sagittarius keeps them smiling in the face of adversity and buoyant amid dire straits.
CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19)
Capricorn is ruled by Saturn, the planet of hard lessons and limitations. Enter the Munchkin cat, the short legged, aww inducing breed that’s struggled to find legitimacy. The abbreviated appendages of the Munchkin, the result of a genetic mutation, have made them popular as a pet and problematic as a breed as many pedigree associations refuse to recognize them, including the hilariously named Governing Council of the Cat Fancy (GCCF). Undeterred, Pixel the Munchkin and others like her have prevailed, melting hearts and making money through lucrative appearances. Success as revenge for being underestimated? Pure poetry to a Capricorn.
AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18)
Paranoid eccentrics themselves, Aquarians will resonate with the story of Ann Baker, the original breeder of the Ragdoll cat. Baker created the Ragdoll from a mess of feral cats that frequented a laundromat in Riverside, California. Noting that the offspring of one female cat had remarkably docile temperaments she began selectively breeding them with the intent of fostering a feline master race of companionable cats. Just as Aquarians play dead in relationships, Ragdoll cats go limp when held. As every Aquarian knows, there’s a fine, in this case feline, between genius and madness and Ann Baker was no exception. Believing her creation to be superior to all others, Baker fed the press fantastic stories about using alien, skunk and even human DNA to genetically altar the disposition of her kittens.
PISCES (February 19 – March 20)
Pisces is ruled by Neptune, planet of dreams and illusions and never has there been a cat more cut from a dreamscape or a DMT trip than the wonderfully flat faced Persian. The Persian, like the average Pisces, tears up more frequently than other breeds or signs. A mutable water sign, Pisces is synonymous with poetry and from calico to smoke, the descriptions of this breed verge on the ludicrously lyrical, case in point, “The chinchilla is a sparkling white cat with black tipping scattered as evenly as stardust” or “Their brilliant copper eyes seem almost like burning embers within the smoke setting.”
Astrology 101: Your guide to the stars
Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience. She is also an accomplished writer who has profiled a variety of artists and performers, as well as extensively chronicled her experiences while traveling. Among the many intriguing topics she has tackled are cemetery etiquette, her love for dive bars, Cuban Airbnbs, a “girls guide” to strip clubs and the “weirdest” foods available abroad.